Finished...For Reals.

Well, it’s August 22, 2013 as I write this final blog for a while. It’s almost unreal to be at the end of the road. A couple years ago it was the beginning of the last stretch where the end looked so near. We were expecting to be done within a few months but a few months turned into a couple years. It was a hard journey the last little bit, but it was worth it. I learned a lot, grew a lot and went through a lot. But we finally made it.

On August 6^th I went in for the redo of my nose construction. The last time it warped and caused a bump out of my nose and the cartilage started turning. My doctor was greatly disappointed and so were we. We chose to fix it as soon as we could. In this surgery he decided to take the whole rib cartilage out and cut it into 4 pieces. He shaved down the bump and used it to fill in the dip. In addition to that he took the 4 pieces of cartilage and layered them one on top of another and stitched  and screwed them down so they couldn’t warp anymore. He also took donor cartilage and put into my nose to further support the tip. I usually struggle with nausea from surgeries so we order an anti nausea patch to put behind my ear and that usually helps a lot. But this surgery I really had a hard time and couldn’t kick it. I think it was due to the double amount of anesthesia and meds in such a short period of time.

What nurses and doctors don’t tell you to expect from surgeries is the constipation that is caused because of all the medications. It’s not something most people want to talk about, but it is a factor that people forget. The medications shut down my body for days and I became toxic inside and got really sick. My family was all in Montana during this time so we had a family friend staying with me and I had my best friend and my boyfriend both hanging around the house taking turns. It was a blessing to have people looking out for me, God has always been good in that way. I quit taking heavy pain meds when I started getting sick feeling thinking I could handle nothing after a week from my surgery, but I soon found out it was too painful and sore. I still didn’t take anything until it got really bad and when I did it wasn’t a heavy pain med so it didn’t fully do the job but it made it a little more comfortable.

The surgery all went really well. We saw him on 19^th and he was really pleased! Everything was looking straight and the swelling was going down. It’s still going down. My nose will keep changing for the following year and won’t be set into its final form until next summer. So far everything is great and looking good.

Meanwhile during recovery my dentist and I have been working on my new set of teeth. Several appointments for molds, wax fittings, metal framework fittings, acrylic fitting and the final fitting. We got my teeth all created; it’s a crazy appliance. Half of it is metal framework, the same titanium used in parts of airplanes, and the front is an acrylic where the teeth are. Within the teeth are 3 holes with metal housing and rubber gaskets to lock into my 3 metal implants in my jawbone. The back of the retainer clasps around my molars in my back and that’s how it all fits in. I can bite now and that is so exciting. My boyfriend, Nathan, took me to the dentist while my parents were gone because I was on pains meds and I wasn’t “allowed” to drive. He got to watch it all as they fit it in and made adjustments, unscrewed and screwed everything back in. When we were all finished we went to my parent’s bakery and as we pulled in and parked I was so excited about my teeth and he was taking too long to get out of the car so I looked at him and said “I wanna go bite something!” It was a good laugh, but really I have never been able to fully bite something with all my front teeth. The first thing I bit was a piece of Great Harvest Cinnamon chip bread! So good and so exciting! It’s amazing what little things can excite you when you’re not used to it and things are made so much easier. I ran downstairs after I bit into a cupcake and it left teeth marks in the frosting and I had to run down my stairs to show my mom how excited I was about teeth marks in my food! The joy of little things.

As I write this I’m sitting in the car driving down to SoCal to embark on a brand new journey, college. Nothing like this journey. It’s crazy to look back and see 15 years ago I was brought over to the US into a new family and a new beginning. 17 years ago I was born and taken to an orphanage in hopes I would have a great opportunity to live a better life. Now I’m here, closing the door to what has been the greatest journey of my life so far. It’s almost unreal to not be looking forward at the next surgery and the next thing to fix on my face. Now I’m walking forward through new doors into college where a new journey will begin with new trials and new friends. My surgeries are complete my strength has grown and my faith has been stretched to new heights. I’m looking forward to this new beginning, a fresh start.

(published this post once I got to school :)) 

I’m all finished. It is the greatest relief to see that I have no more necessary surgeries. It’s my choice next summer to do one more surgery to do a lip graft to increase movement and even out my lips, but for now I’m done. My next doctors appointment isn’t until January, a check up to see the progress of my new nose as it continues to unswell.

Thank you to all who have walked with me through my journey, whether it was from day one or a few months ago. Every prayer, encouragement, card, flowers or anything has helped me get through it even more. Thank you to my parents who have continually supported and given me so much to make it all possible, I’ve truly been blessed. Especially to my mom who has held my hand through many appointments and surgeries. I admire her strength and constant love and support through it all. She is an amazing mom. Thank you to my siblings who always were here when I needed them and encouraged and prayed for me from anywhere in the world as I finished up. Thank you Nathan for the 4 years of journeying through it all with me and sitting with me through many chick flicks and recovery days when I hardly remembered you being there. It’s been amazing to have you with me as I went through the hardest 2 years of my journey. Your continual encouragement and prayer got me through so much. Finally, thank you to all my friends who came to visit me and prayed for me. Especially Meghan who came as often as she could since grade school walking through it with me. You’ve been such a great best friend! Everyone’s support has meant the world to me. May God bless you as you have blessed me.

Numbers 6:24-26: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

Surgery #15...Not done yet.

Well last I posted it was about my last surgery which was roughly 7 weeks ago. Double surgery summer. I have once again another surgery on Tuesday, August 6th at 7:30am. This surgery will be #15.  Each surgery is just a little more draining than that last and this process leading to this next surgery proved even more to me that I'm human. I have limits, I hold anger, I can be selfish and I try to do too much too soon. I get into surgery mode, I try to push aside the emotional effects each surgery can have on me and just try to focus on the things that need to be done and stuff the rest down. That's not healthy and within these 7 weeks between the last surgery and this surgery I've found I hit what seemed to be my max.

It was an option to do the corrective surgery this summer or wait till Christmas or next summer. But I'm going into college in 3 weeks and wanted this part of my life to left at the door as I entered this new adventure. I didn't want to have to come home and face another surgery because the one the following year failed. I wanted to piece it all together and move on. This nose surgery was to be the stepping stone to the end. But it wasn't. We have to do "take two" as my doctor put it. It's a blessing to be in a family that can financially get it to work to keep repairing my face. More than ever this surprise of another surgery has caused tears and frustration within the house. I didn't realize how much effect getting ready for another surgery would have on me. We didn't know what would have to be done whether more cartilage had to be taken out of me or if we'd have to start all over and hope for a better result. It was all up in the air and time has been running to fit it all within the schedule. Part of me doesn't want to have to go through another surgery and deal with all the pain and medications put into me. But part of me knows this is what "needs" to be done in order to get the best result and be finished. 

We saw my doctor on Thursday and discussed what was to be done for this next surgery. He decided to removed the whole piece of cartilage in my nose and shave off the bump of cartilage that is warped upwards and take that piece to fill in the dip in my nose in order to make the bridge of the nose "straight". He said there are special sutchers that can be used to hold the cartilage into place. He also wants to secure the tip of my nose better and will be using donor cartilage to hold it up. Then he will place the cartilage back into my nose. My cartilage also warped to the left so he will shave on some of the side too to create the straight look up and down as well. Thankfully he doesn't have to take any more cartilage from my body. He said theres less chance of the cartilage warping any more since it's had a while to sit and form on it's own again. 

My nose has shifted and unswelled a lot since the last surgery but recorrective surgeries on a nose that has already been corrected takes a longer to heal. I was told it'd take 6-12 months until my nose is fully set into place and done changing. 

Thanks for all the continuous prayer and support through all these surgeries. It's been hard and sometimes feels impossible, but my family, friends and ultimately God gets me through each one. He never gives me more than I can handle. I've been equipped with the strength needed to get through and I'm almost done. A few more steps and maybe this journey will come to a close. 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28

Thank you all,

Katie